Remember your high school English teachers? One
of them was the strict grammarian, right? He seemed like he was always on the
edge, ready to break into a million jagged pieces if you wandered just a little
bit from the tidy corner of Strunk & White. There was the classic lit
teacher—she was at least 100 years old and could quote Shakespeare and Dante
better than Shakespeare and Dante. And what about the grizzled fireplug who
taught you bits and shards about Twain and Hemingway and Faulkner when he wasn’t
investing way more energy coaching the school football team, visions of state
championships and college sidelines swirling in his head.
But then there was the other English teacher.
The cool one, as cool as you dared believe any high school English teacher can
be. He seemed to get you, and you seemed to get him, and even though neither of
you had a clue about what the other did off school grounds, to this day you
smile when you remember what he taught you about reading and writing that
matters.
That man is our guest today on the Gazalapalooza
Author Spotlight. His name is Geoffrey Girard, and his new scary thriller Cain’s Blood is fresh of the presses.
When he’s not teaching English at a prestigious private boys’ high school in Ohio, he’s writing, and
winning awards and accolades for what he writes. Exemplifying the latter, no
less an authority than the National Book Examiner calls Cain’s Blood, "Compelling and
repulsive… A page-turner par excellence."
It appears our esteemed authorial colleague Mr.
Girard copes masterfully with the grisly, and the macabre. Cain’s Blood is exhibit one on that score, trust us. Perhaps it’s
too much to hope that the piercing beams from our array of unforgiving klieg
lights will make the man sweat, or squirm a bit. But hope o we will, as we get
this edition of the Author Spotlight underway.
Gazala:
In my omnipotence, I've sentenced you to be stranded alone on a desert
island for offenses best left unnamed. In my beneficence, I've decided to allow
you a limited amount of reading material to make your stay a little less bleak
than it would otherwise be. I'll spot you your religious text of preference,
and the collected works of William Shakespeare. In addition to those, name the
one fiction book, and the one nonfiction book, you'd choose to take with you,
and tell why you choose them.
Girard:
Literary practicality wins here. There are perfect books I’ve reread a
dozen times (e.g., A Prayer for Owen
Meany, Shadowland, Dubliners), but the idea of having to
read only one of them for the rest of my life is not appealing. And while The Lord of the Rings is probably the
most pivotal fiction of my life, the writing itself ain’t all that hot. So… I’m
gonna go with Infinite Jest. I think
Wallace is a brilliant writer and thinker. I reread his shorter work often just
for the language, but have only tackled Jest
once. At 1000+ pages, that’s a lot of ground still to cover a few more times.
Broken up, Infinite Jest can be
hundreds of stand-alone stories/scenes.
It’s my generation’s The Divine
Comedy in a way, I think. So, plenty to think over there.
Since you’ve stranded me alone on a desert
island, under those circumstances there is no nonfiction book I’d ever want to
re-read other than 1000 Ways to Cook a
Seagull. (Ed. note: despite valiant
effort, to date Gazalapalooza’s crack staff of expert librarians has been
unable to confirm the existence of this book. The closest they’ve gotten is 1001 Ways to Cook Jonathan Livingston
Seagull.)
Gazala:
Your latest book is an excellent and gripping novel titled Cain's Blood, centered on the U.S.
Defense Department's use of cloned DNA from nefarious serial killers to develop
a new breed of terrifying bioweapon. I've read it. I enjoyed it immensely, and
recommend it highly. Shockingly enough, however, from time to time my bare
recommendation doesn't always motivate a book's potential reader to become a
book's actual reader. Tell us something about Cain's Blood, and why its potential reader should make the leap and
become its actual reader.
Girard:
Thank you for the endorsement.
For thriller/horror fans: Cain’s Blood is Jurassic Park with
serial killers. If you’re a serial killer aficionada, you might enjoy. They’re
all here: Gacy, Bundy, Dahmer, Fish, etc. And they’re all teens, some of who
would scare the shit out of their genetic forefathers. There’s some dark fun to
be had. The Ruins author (ed. note:
Scott Smith) called Cain’s Blood
“deeply twisted,” and R.L. Stine says it “still creeps him out.” Coming from
those guys…
For you English-class lovers: Cain’s
Blood is something more like Huckleberry
Finn, or On the Road. Two broken
characters (a war vet not quite home yet and a teen who’s just discovered he’s
the clone of Jeffrey Dahmer) make their way across America (and all that
means), figuring out how to deal with each other and themselves, and hopefully
come out okay on the other side.
Gazala:
What are books for?
Girard:
Easier than finding a cave to paint on, I suppose. I teach high school
English and am always reminding the guys that Art is Art: be it a book, song,
painting, dance, video game, movie, etc.
Even when it’s “just” entertainment, there’s usually a legit and
worthwhile portrayal/ examination of “being human” within that entertainment.
And for those books, songs, etc., that strive to dig a little deeper, all the
better. Books are simply one way to do that.
Gazala:
W. Somerset
Maugham said, "There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately,
no one knows what they are." Do you agree, or disagree, and why?
Girard:
I might make it ten rules to writing to muck it up even more. Yes, I agree no one knows what these rules
(three, ten, or 50) are. I believe Twain has some line to the effect that the
three rules are: write, write and…
write. Other than that, who knows? I’ve
been doing this seriously about ten years and have met a hundred other authors,
each with his or her own style, methods, voice, habits, weaknesses, craft, etc.
And even once you’ve tied it down to one writer, they’ll change it up too. Cain’s Blood was written in an entirely
different way than Project Cain (a
spinoff I wrote for teen readers). I changed up the devices used, voice, story
structure, mechanics, etc. Wanted to try something new for that particular wall
painting. Part of the fun of writing
(and reading) is trying new things, even it proves personally unsatisfying in
the end.
Gazala:
I'm knee-deep in a robust philosophical argument about nature versus
nurture with a weird guy who calls himself Tad Bundy. This may take a while.
Ask yourself a question, and answer it.
Girard:
Q: Do you think the science in Cain’s
Blood is possible? A: We went from cloning sheep to cloning monkeys in just
three years. And that was 15 years ago. You’re asking me to believe we haven’t
gone from monkey to human in those ensuing 15 years? That’s absurd.
Furthermore, America
spends more money researching weapons than it does on medicine, agriculture,
manufacturing, education, and transportation combined. And most all of that
research is conducted via black budgets with 0.0 regulation or public
accountability. I’d say “possible” is fair.
Compelling and repulsive though it surely
sounds, we still can’t track down a copy of 1000
Ways to Cook a Seagull. We’re not often stumped—it’s quite disturbing. How
can we make this up to you, our very gracious and stunningly attractive reader?
By positioning you with the merest mouse click to get your own copy of Geoffrey
Girard’s Cain’s Blood right from
Amazon.com, that’s how. We overpay our debts, here. You’re welcome.
